ramblingthoughts

It’s been a while since I last posted but that is because I got a new job that has been keeping me very busy. This new job is through Demand Studios, title proofing. They only pay 8 cents a title but it adds up, believe me. The more you proof in one day, every day, the more money you make weekly. I started out making around $200 a week but now they don’t have any titles and I am out of one job that pays good until it picks back up again. Don’t know when that will be but I check every day and I am hoping it will pick up again real soon because I got spoiled making that much money in one week just through them. I also write articles for Demand Studios and Associated Content and since I haven’t had any titles to proof, I have been writing more for AC and DS.

So I decided to get caught up on blog posts too. And today’s blog post is inspired by my mean spirited, bitter father. See I was in a rather good mood when I woke up this morning and even felt inspired by a nice forum post on my favorite forum, Accentuate Writers Forum. A rather new, but nice member started a post wishing everyone a good Monday morning and we all listed our goals for the week. So I felt empowered to start on my goals and decided to write more in my Sci-Fi fiction story which is due to be turned in in two days for the contest on the forum, and I’m not halfway done, lol.

Anyway I was in a somewhat good mood until I got with my dad today. My husband had to go see his lawyer and we don’t have a car so my mom and dad picked us up after my mom got off of work. We thought my mom was taking us but she was very tired so my dad said he would. We absolutely hate it when my dad takes us anywhere because all he does is complain about everyone and everything and he scares us by the way he drives. He gets really close to cars and we always think he is going to hit one.

So we are with my dad and he starts complaining about my nephew staying with them. We have heard this from him countless times but he still insists on repeating himself. It is very irritating.

When I got home my good mood was gone for good and I felt all the energy I had for writing just drain right out of me. I want to do an article for a print magazine and I still hope I can get it done tonight. This is how my dad makes me feel when I am around him for more than an hour. He makes me feel run-down, depressed, and irritated all at once. I love him, I really do, but he drives me totally insane.

When I see father’s and their daughter’s that are so close it makes me sad and makes me want to cry. My dad and I never have been that close and I fear we never will. It really depresses me and I had to get this off my chest so I decided to write it in this blog since I haven’t written here in a while. I wish I had a dad I could call and tell all my troubles and triumphs to but that will never happen. When I do call him it is always him doing the talking and it is always negative issues regarding everything bad that has ever happened to him and all the wrong people have done to him. My dad has problems and refuses to get help and then he kind of looks down on me because I see a psychiatrist for my mental problems. He says he knows he is crazy and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t realize what he does to the people around him and if he does realize it, he doesn’t care. I don’t know what to do about him, I wish I could help him.

To all of you dad’s out there who have daughter’s, please cherish them for who and what they are forever. Don’t put them down for trying to better themselves and don’t dump all of your problems on them. They have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about you all the time. Please love them and never forget Christmas or their birthday or how much you love them. Spend as much time with them as possible and just because they are a girl who maybe doesn’t get into cars or sports like you do, don’t fault them and ignore them for that. Find something in common with them and spend quality time with them as much as you can. They will thank you for it when they are older, wiser, and stronger because of the unconditional love you gave them. I wish I had that with my dad and I will always wish that but I know it will never happen.

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